Monday, July 12, 2010

Tom and Jerry...A case of unwarranted stupidity

Before going into details of how we are finally together I thought I will share with you details of some of the awesome experiences (only way to cover up the fact that I was utterly foolish) mentioned in the last post. Today I will speak about the fight I had with one of my classmates over her. Not exactly over her but a picture of her...err...Not exactly a picture of her but over the rights to give her a copy of her picture which was taken and developed by somebody else...Yes dear friends the grand fight was over who will pass on a picture of her taken during a picnic (I wish God had made me more sane).

Scene 1: Day 1. A famous studio in town. Most of my batch mates are present in the studio. All of them are busy with getting copies of their favorite pictures from the trip. But yours faithfully has a totally different game plan in mind. Yes my dear friends I have already won half the battle. She asked me whether I can get her a copy of a picture taken by some loser. God is great. Alas, the problem is the person who took the picture and hence owns the intellectual property for it is also a big fan of my girl (I told you she is very pretty, didn't I). So now the hurdle is how to get a copy of it from him. I thought the best option is to be sincere and to have no secrets (Truth is I couldn't think of anything else :)). I approached him and told him that the girl needs a copy of the picture he has taken. So please make an extra copy of it. He ordered for the copy, person at counter said it will take 1 day (to both of us) & I said thank you and left.

Scene 2: Day 2. Yours faithfully is in the studio before one hour of the scheduled time for accepting the photograph. You guys know that I'm not the kind of person who will go one hour early to collect a photograph for a girl. I'm a batch topper and I value my time a lot. It is just that I happened to pass by and thought I will drop in and collect the photograph if it is ready. Half an hour passed, the photograph was almost ready and here turns up my classmate. I did warn myself that he is at least twice as heavy as I and in a direct combat I don't stand a chance. I grabbed the photograph from the person at the studio, but I was not quick enough, my classmate got his hand on to it. Now here I am standing with one hand on the photograph and other on the knob of the exit door. He was saying something but I didn't wait to listen to it. I pulled the photograph out of his grasp and ran (Thank God, I paid for it well in advance, otherwise circumstances would have made me a thief).

Scene 3: In the classroom. I ran straight from the studio to classroom and handed over the photograph to her. She didn't notice that I was gasping for breath, paid me, said thank you and left. Now I was left to fate. He did turn up 10 minutes later, furious and worried. First hour of class had already started. The entire hour I was thinking of how to get out the misery of being bashed by a moron in front of the entire class and especially in front of her. Bell rang and I was ready to run out of the class as soon as the teacher leaves the class room. Alas, he was too smart for me. He blocked the exit before I could reach there. I stood at the center of the class in despair and he was running towards me screaming at me. After few seconds I regained presence and started running to escape from his clasp. We ran like that for sometime through the entire classroom (It was exactly like the Tom & Jerry cartoon!!! unfortunately I was Jerry in this case). Finally I gave up, he grabbed me with his left hand and gave me a solid punch on my back with his other hand. The entire class stood still. For one week my back was aching....

Submitted for Moments of Madness Contest at Blogadda

Saturday, June 26, 2010

What she wants?

To be frank, I always try to do things the way she likes them to be done. Though I am pretty confident that I can continue to do this, the challenge lies in the fact that her preferences keeps on changing. Sometimes she likes to cared, sometimes she prefers to be let alone and sometimes she wants me to be angry at her. The only other behavior, apart from her's, which I couldn't decode till date is that of rickshaw drivers in Mumbai city. Both have their own way of making decisions. But while I enjoy her behavior I hate the way rickshaws run in Mumbai.

I believe she also likes me to keep guessing and not be sure about her preferences at any point of time. If we think about it, anything predictable gets boring as time passes. So I prefer that her expectations and preferences remain as elusive as possible. May be anything or anyone who is predictable doesn't deserve to be loved. I hope an element of unpredictability remains in our relation forever.

Submitted for Blog Adda's 'What women want'

Friday, June 11, 2010

Fatso to Macho; An Attempt in Vain

Like they say in all those Bollywood movies, I still remember the day I first saw her like yesterday. But let us first talk about me. I was a typical fatso with interests only in food & wrestling. Getting attention from opposite sex was least of my concern. If you had asked me I would have said that creating Eve from Adam’s rib was one of the biggest mistakes anybody has ever committed (no offence Almighty!). Girls always used to be a disturbance. They don’t like wrestling (those days were different), they don’t play card games and they study too much and ask too many doubts. Chances of I falling for one of those was less than our Prime Minister becoming a Hollywood action hero (stupid joke).

But who can stop fate. It happened. I saw her for the first time, God’s masterpiece. I will keep it short, she was everything ever said by anybody about his lover. And then everything changed. I will give you a glimpse of the changes which happened to me after she came into my life (read after I became mad about her, she didn’t know a thing). I reduced my weight by 20 kilograms (good achievement for an 8th standard, isn’t it?). For the entire year I never wore the same pair of clothes more than once (she didn’t even know that I exist; loser!!).

The list of my atrocious strategic moves doesn't end there. I ended up treating the entire batch more than once so that I can buy her a chocolate. I followed her to every damn tuition in the town. I fought with a moron over her and the thought of the punch he gave on my back still makes me shiver. What more, my attempts to talk to her always ended up in rumors that I'm after her best friend's sister. Ain't I pathetic?

I was a batch topper and staunchly believed that my charm & enviable looks (how blind one can be) will one day make her fall in love with me. Four year passed by; except few pathetic attempts to talk to her and impress her (flawlessly illogical attempts people would say) nothing much happened. All these time I kept on wondering why is it so difficult to talk to one you love the most. Yet the 'sour grapes' effect which happened to many of my friends in similar situation didn't happen to me. After completion of 12th I heard she joined for Medicine in some school. I continued my life in a stupid engineering college where I continued to struggle with my plans (none of them ever come through the planning stage) to get in touch with her. But that isn't all. We are getting married in January 2011. If you want to read the rest of my story you have wait for my next post. Wish me luck for the first post.

Submitted for Blogadda's "My first Crush !" contest